On the closing day of a United Religions Initiative global conference in 1997, a Muslim participant stepped to the microphone before the 200 people from 40 countries and dozens of faith traditions. With an unexpected and heartfelt apology, he opened a door to forgiveness, to healing and a better future.

This global gathering had brought together people who mostly did not know each other and some of whom could not easily imagine each other as allies in a common endeavor. In many cases, they were from spiritual traditions and/or nations with an ample history of enmity and conflict between them.

In this context, we had begun with the basic but often unaccustomed practice of listening to each other with respect to deepen mutual understanding and trust. Building on that practice, we had devoted a week to seeking the deepest positive values our various traditions had to offer, to creating a shared vision of the world we would like to live in, and to imagining how we might work together to help make that world a reality.

Over the course of the week, strangers that the world would view as natural adversaries came to know and respect each other. We became eager to put the wounds of the past and present behind us and to cooperate to create a better future for all.

As the gathering was drawing to a close, participants were invited to step to the microphone and offer their personal commitment to move the work forward. In this context of enthusiasm and individual affirmation, no one expected to hear an apology.

When it came, the apology startled the group into deep silence, which erupted into appreciative applause. The applause acknowledged an experienced truth. If we are to move forward together, we must stop counting our rights against others’ wrongs in a calculus that will always and only lead to endless recriminations, enmity and often violence.

If we are to move forward together, we must be willing to accept the responsibility for wrongs done in our name, even if we are not personally involved in perpetrating those wrongs, even if we have stood steadfastly against those wrongs. We must be willing to apologize and in so doing to open the door to forgiveness, to healing and to a better future.